I have plenty to blog about.

This entire week has been peppered with blog-worthy events, but somehow I can’t put it in words.

But let’s try. This is the entire point of finding myself again - to ensure I express my thoughts.

****

Hari Raya Haji
Monday was Hari Raya Haji, as we are all very much aware (thank you very much Sha).

And this year, we sacrificed 4 kambings. One for myself, my mum, Qayyum and betday girl Nana.

That’s 4 goats I watched being.. slaughtered. 4 times I had to take pics of cute animals being..

I know I am not supposed to feel sorry for them, but I do not eat mutton so it doesn’t make a difference anyway.

I will just show the.. gory details of one kambing - my own. The rest of the goryness can be found in my facebook profile.

Ok wait, before that some cute pics of live kambings.

The goats are all huddled together. Somehow the bigger (and thus older) ones seem more afraid to be so close to Death. They are the ones who kept trying to hide deeper into the crowd, to avoid being pulled away.

They must know the end is near. Some are baa-ing so sadly as they are being carried away to their noble death. They must be terrified.

Some baby goats that were so brave and didnt even attempt to hide:

This cutie was minutes away from being carried off and.. slaughtered. Such innocence and purity.

Little Lamb, Little Lamb - who made thee? (I know its a Little goat, but shh)

Another cutie:

Aww!

Well then, let’s move on to my goat. My goat turned out to be pure white

I like the colour white.

Anyway you know how they say sometimes the goat/sheep picked out for you has some resemblance to you?

Mine, when carried to the.. site of slaughtering was not calm at all.

I found this to be uncanny coz that was how I was. I am. I’ve not been calm at all for at least 3 weeks.

It’s so sad to die and not be at ease. Shit.

Maybe that’s why I should stop being so morbid. I can’t possibly die when I’m not at ease at all.

So here comes the gory part. Bye Bye Sha’s poor white kambing:

And then..

Going.. going…

Gone..

Really Gone.

*cry*

****

I apologise if I made anybody cringe inside. I do not enjoy posting these pics. And I am not a sadist. In fact I feel sorry for my poor goat and the 3 other goats my family sacrificed on Monday.

I know I said I had plenty to blog about, but somehow happy occassions do not fit in with the morbid and depressive tone of this post.

So those will come tomorrow, and the day after and the day after.

It’s good that I have so much to share. And so much to tell.

And thanks for listening/reading

At this point of time, I don’t really care if there’s readers or not. I just have to get used to expressing myself again.

:)

Hellos.

I’ve decided to return to the world of blogging, but this will not be a happy comeback post.

I’m doing this with the hope of finding my happy, cheerful self again.

Blogging has always been a release for me. I showcased my life, good and bad. I might have been shameless and narcassistic, but whatever it was, it still displayed my life.

My life. With my quirky sense of humour and my view of the world thru the tinted looking glass.

My opinions. My things. My everything.

Now I have to regain all that back. I have to document my life, for when I do that it reminds me I’m still alive and there’s still hope for tomorrow.

Alot has happened, especially within the past few weeks. While I may not want to go into it right now, perhaps when I’m ready - I will share certain parts. But for now, I hope for your company in my journey back to find myself.

And not to worry, I’ll make sure every post doesn’t sound like a depressing movie about a spoilt girl who doesn’t know what to do when everything goes wrong in her life. That won’t even make the box office, no?

I’ve thought of some ways to find myself back again:

1) Embrace an old habit

To start things off, perhaps I should catch up on my reading. I’ve always been a reader - you guys know that. But of late, I have neglected books - which is very silly considering I have all these to finish reading:

I want to finish.. New Moon especially. How can anyone read New Moon halfway I have no idea. But that’s what I did. So much for being in love with Edward Cullen *hoho* So I have to read that first. Then move on to the other 2 books in the Twilight series. If all things fail, at least I’ll still have Edward. hohoho.

And Tales of Beedle the Bard - halfway read as well. I got it as a gift on the day of its release. I’ve read one of the short stories + Dumbledore’s commentary on it. Makes me miss Dumbledore so so much.

2) Family & Friends

I’ve been nothing short of a disappointment these few weeks. I’ve neglected everybody who loves me, who craves attention from me, who worries for me. I’ve been so caught up in being depressed, sad and helpless that I’ve shut everyone out. This is coming from someone who always puts everyone before herself. I truly am nothing less than the biggest disappointment ever. I am so sorry.

I feel terrible. Because everyone always turns to me when they need anything. And I’ve just dissappointed children, adults and the elderly alike. I will make up for it, I promise.

3) God

I’ve never spoken too openly about God in the 6 years I’ve been blogging. This just doesn’t make sense, because I am quite the spiritual person. It was just a part of me I kept to myself (despite blogging about pretty much about everything else in my life). And in my huge depressive hole I’ve dug for myself, I’ve forgotten about God. Not forgotten forgotten, but you know. I’ve been so selfish in asking for favours from God, that I didn’t think about improving my relationship with Him.

So in this journey you are walking with me, you will sometimes read about religion. Not all the time, but when I feel it’s needed. I hope it will be tolerated, coz I just feel it’s something I have to do.

4) New Skills

I think picking up new skills will be great for me. It will give me a sense of accomplishment.

Things I’m thinking of picking up:

- baking and cooking (it sounds and look fun, plus I’ll never be hungry)
- take up web/graphic designing (coz it will help tremendously at work)
- scrapbooking (because I miss my creative projects)
- photography (because someone who loves me is willing to teach me, and I take nice pics with my humble cam)

5) Happy thoughts

Lastly, I have to fill myself up with happy, happy thoughts! I have to fill up my Rainbow Aura quota in order to be that cheerful, carefree self.

p/s: I know today is Hari Raya Aidil Adha, and I do have plenty of pics. But the day isn’t over, and there’s still one more event. So look out for that post.

I have to look this happy again, deal?

Over the past few weeks, I have come to believe that perhaps without technology I would probably be out of a job.

There was a day within the past few weeks that the internet connection in the office went slightly bonkers, therefore depriving us the luxury of being online.

Under normal circumstances (and perhaps if I were in some other profession in a totally different industry), life would still go on. Work would still get done. The day would still be productive, and everyone will be happy. Right?

Not with us. Not with me.

Personally, I went on a panic! mode.

So much things to do! Omg Omg Why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?? I still need to blah blah blah blah… I NEED TO GET ONLINE!

And the scary part was, after I’ve started to accept the fact that the possibility of going back online for the rest of the day is close to zero - I realized that there was nothing I could do on my to-do list at work. Not even one tiny task. I was stranded. Stuck, and whether I like it or not - I will not be making a progress on my workload for the day.

So my colleagues and I kept refreshing our homepages till we get sick of seeing the Page Could Not Be Found error.

How scary is that, to realize that your entire rice bowl depends on the existence of the net?

And today, another incident. Part of my job requires me to use a google application for um.. certain purposes. And I use it daily and have become a pro at it *cough cough* Sometimes there’ll be glitches, but it can all be fixed by restarting a browser.

But today, it went bonkers and kept showing the same error for about 2 hours before I went home, and I believe it’s still going now. So at the point I thought, “Fine, a glitch - let’s start on something else first”.

And I did. But as I was finishing that task, to my very horror - I still need to use the google application to complete my task!

So once again I was stranded, unable to do anything. So much so, I actually left the office relatively early.

As much as I seem to be quite *ahem* - my boyfriend will burst out laughing at this - techno-savvy (Ok maybe at an acceptable level, OKAY?), I’ve always felt that technology cannot be depended on.

Technology can’t be depended to really capture the essence of nature.

It also can go crazy. Like servers going down, things getting deleted, data getting lost, stupid glitches.

I like technology but sometimes the old-fashion way is better.

Like writing letters and cards as opposed to cold emails.

Like actually having coffee with a friend and having a fantastic conversation instead of relying on MSN.

Like walking till your feet hurt like hell finding the perfect dress, instead of shopping online.

But I guess Technology is getting the better of me right now. Because there’s no way I can say “I hate technology” or “I don’t trust technology” now, because my entire career depends on it.

Karma always has an ingenious way of getting back at you.

p.s. And I just realise that this is the first time ever that I’ve blogged about work, and yet not blogging about my job. More news by category Topic -: Tramadol hydrochloride tablets Safety of phentermine Pyridium Generic viagra cialis Cialis generic india Information about street drugs or xanax bars Snorting phentermine Hydrocodone overdose Lithium Amiodarone Imiquimod Tramadol next day Pfizer viagra sperm Vidarabine Prevacid Viagra cialis levitra comparison Dutasteride Lisinopril Thiotepa Female spray viagra Black market phentermine Betamethasone Cialis forums What does xanax look like Loss phentermine story success weight Viagra alternative uk Mecamylamine Eulexin Viagra xenical Xanax in urine Macrodantin Epivir Ditropan Woman use viagra Cialis erectile dysfunction Xanax withdrawl message boards Atorvastatin Generic ambien Is phentermine addictive Next day delivery on phentermine Ethanol Natural phentermine Avandamet Xanax long term use Information medical phentermine Cialis experience Phentermine no perscription Compare ionamin phentermine Viagra cialis levivia dose comparison Noroxin Effects of viagra on women Viagra shelf life Hydroxyurea Dog xanax Viagra class action Hydrocodone cod only Nicoumalone Phentermine snorting Mirtazapine Quazepam Isradipine Xanax look alike Moxifloxacin Viagra experiences Piroxicam Nicorette Sotalol Cash on delivery shipping of phentermine How do i stop taking phentermine Niacinamide Phentermine weight loss Phentermine

I had a long awaited hair cut over the weekend.

While I truly want to cam whore and show off my new do to my heart’s content, it will have to wait.

It will have to wait till I’ve gotten rid of these horrible dark eye bags which have made themselves an almost permanant feature on my face

I think I am too exhausted. Which was why I am so thankful today is a public holiday. A day all to myself! To laze around until I feel satisfied, hehe.

With regards to the horrible eye bags, I have resorted to the often heard remedy of putting used tea bags over my eyes.

Not too sure how well it will work tho, but I just tried because I was desperate to make the eye bags disappear.

However, as I settled in a comfortable position and put the tea bags which has been chilled on to my closed eyes, I found my face being bombarded by tears of TEA. Tea literally rolled down my cheeks.

Hahaha!

They didnt say if the tea bags had to be squeezed first, but I doubt it. They just said that the tea bags had to be chilled. So now my eyes are stinging just a little due to the tea that made their way into my eyes.

Well at least my skin would be benefiting from the anti-oxidents from the tea, hehe.

Sigh.

I hope the eye bags will be smaller tomorrow - coz its frightening when your eye bags defies the power of your dependable concealer

Home remedies - do they really work? Or does it take a placebo to make them work?

Guess who are these absolutely adorable kids?

Well, it’s me and Lex - in case you’re wondering what the hell my mother was thinking letting me have a boyfriend in pre-school.

Lex had too much time apparently, so he resharpened his photoshop skills and made a fusion of our two kiddy pictures.

I think it’s sweet. Practically made my day, hehe.

I just love my expression. Ice Queen-ish. See? I am broody right from the start. And I can assure you this isn’t the only picture of me having an icy stare. Perhaps, I have always been easily annoyed, hehe.

And mind you, that picture was taken on my birthday. Can you just imagine? lol.

And he.. has always been friendly and happy I guess. Haha!

As for the words, “This much” - it’s a reference to a conversation we keep having over and over in the past 5 years.

Sha: Do you love me?
Lex: Ya
Sha: How much?
Lex: *Holding up his thumb and index finger an inch apart* This much.

So in our fusioned picture, Little Lex has actually has his arms in the air.. very far apart. As if saying THIS MUCH!

Aww.

I suggested we play around with all our kiddy pictures. I think we’d have some interesting outcomes.

:)

Why do I feel like I’ve changed somehow. Changed for the worse, not better.

Why do I feel like I’m no longer that nice, sweet girl always having others in her good thoughts? It’s something that others do not notice. As far as they are concerned, I’m still the same.

But somehow, within the past few months, I know something has transformed - and will never be the same again.

Perhaps, it is simply the loss of that simple innocence. Or perhaps, it could be - I am growing up (finally). Growing up to know what I want and what I don’t. Growing up to know that there will always be people that I will never, ever like. That there will be people whom I can never pretend to be nice to, simply because that’s time wasting.

This is not, in case you are wondering, a bitch-out post about people I don’t like. I just typed that last bit out as an example.

Perhaps, I am getting jaded. Behind my cheery (oh really, little miss grumpy?) disposition, I am actually a rather broody person. But suddenly it seems my mouth holds no bars to what it has to say. I just say out loud. Most of the time, I think out loud. Even out in typing form.

This is very dangerous as my entire company communicates via MSN and when I think out loud thru typing, plenty a time I’ve said something stupid one time or another - more often than not during a conversation with the boss himself.

Sometimes I really wish I’m not at all fussy and anal about everything. It is getting tiresome how I can’t even get a pair of shoes, just because nothing seems nice enough in all the stores I’ve been to. It is an even bigger headache when you find out that I am lacking tops, skirts, jeans and bags too.

Everything that can be easily gotten, but I haven’t gotten anything simply because nothing seems to please me.

This is a bad thing. I am running out of clothes to wear. Mixing and matching has its limits - just like everything else. My flat shoes and sneakers and flip flops are running out of steam, begging me to find their replacements.

Sometimes I wonder how some girls can just shop easily. Getting 3 pairs of shoes at a go. 4 bags in a day.

How do you people do that? How do you just shop randomly?

It certainly doesn’t help that I am never random about things. Except for maybe this particular post where everything is in fusion with everything else. This is what happens my friends, when you abandon your blog for too long. All your thoughts have been suppressed and when given a chance, everything erupts and overflow in an avalanche of thoughts.

The only things that I don’t really have a problem buying offhand are watches (tho I’m still particular abt this) and tshirts. But tshirts are not tops. You can’t be dressy in a tee. Not in the genre of tees I enjoy buying anyway

Maybe I should try not be at all particular about my personal items. Nah not possible. But who knows.

I need an MP3 player. Preferably an iPod Touch. My iPod Nano has retired in its ripe old age, and now I’m just getting on with my handphone in its supporting role as an MP3 player.

I also want a Pink PSP, so that I can play PATAPON (OMG, have you tried playing this game? It’s cute and so addictive!) anytime I want instead of waiting for the weekend where I can play it on Lex’s PSP.

Lex told me that perhaps I should just get the PSP so that I can have the best of both worlds. Play games and store MP3s at the same time.

But, Anal Sha doesn’t see things that way. To her each gadget has its own function, except the mobile phone which can serve as an alarm clock, portable radio as well as a temporary MP3 player and camera. So to her, a PSP will always be for games. And nothing else. And an iPod is for music and perhaps videos.

I just call it fair delegation of tasks. He called me a spoilt brat.

Whew.

I just realised that I did not blog for the entire month of April, which makes it the longest time ever that have taken a break from blogging ever.

Not much has happened within the past month. I’ve fully adjusted to my job. Still loving it, in case you thought otherwise.

It’s just that perhaps after staring into a computer screen for an entire day, I couldn’t bear to spend the evenings staring yet again into the screen.

In fact it got so bad that my eyes started to hurt. At first it was in the late afternoons at work. Then it got worse. Even after I removed my contacts at night, they still hurt. So that was why I refrained from using the computer at night.

But I couldn’t possibly let my blog die out.

I did miss blogging.

This past month was quite uneventful except for the fact that Lex turned a year older, and that we celebrated our 5th anniversary yesterday.

5 years. Half a decade together, through ups and downs.

Who would have thought that when we met 5 years ago, our love could blossom. Could last this long. I personally never expected it to last so long, mainly because my previous relationships have never surpassed the one year mark.

But with Lex, it was different. He accepted me entirely. All my flaws, and all my perfections. And I accepted him for who he is, and not what he could be.

He loves me in a way that I think no one else could. I’ve always thanked my lucky stars that I’ve found someone who loves me like this.

And we’ve been through really rough times and also sad times. But with every obstacle, we’ve gotten stronger. We move on, closer than ever.

We have evolved and grown so much as individuals and as a couple. And when I think of where we are now, it makes everything - every shed of tear, every laugh, every fight - well worth it.

And I can’t wait for the moment we start that coveted new chapter in our lives.

Here’s to many more years to come!

Here’s what he gave me for our anny:

Yes I’m weird. But he loves me for that.

;)

I was so so excited when I found out back in January that Panic at the Disco (yes they removed the ! from the name) will be releasing their new album on 25th March 2008.

I was in great anticipation of the witty and clever lyrics they would come up with. So I waited and waited ever so patiently. Before I knew it, the date was here and I marched down to HMV that very evening after work.

To my dismay, the album wasn’t anywhere around yet.

I blamed my stupid boyfriend for jinxing me right from the start. He had smsed me “I hope the cd won’t be there when you get there” earlier during the day.

I am certainly stuck with the Last Man on Earth. Don’t ask me how.

Anyway, yesterday I went to hunt the PaTD’s new album down again.. and I got it! Am so happy to spend my last $20 in my wallet on it. It’s worth every cent.

Before I comment on the album, here’s the tracklisting for Pretty. Odd. :

1. We’re So Starving
2. Nine In The Afternoon
3. She’s A Handsome Woman
4. Do You Know What I’m Seeing
5. That Green Gentleman
6. I Have Friends In Holy Spaces
7. Northern Downpour
8. When The Day Met The Night
9. Pas De Cheval
10. The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know
11. Behind The Sea
12. Folken’ Around
13. She Had The World
14. From A Mountain In The Middle Of The Cabins
15. Mad As Rabbits

Okay to be honest, I already knew two of the songs (thanks to Youtube) weeks before the album came out. These two songs are tracks 1 & 2 respectively. I absolutely adored the clever simplicity (and honesty, I might add) behind “We’re So Starving”, and the whacky video for “Nine in The Afternoon” reassured me that the band is still as weird and out of this world as ever. *big big grin*

Compared to their first album, A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out of, this album is not as upbeat. And some of the titles do have some relevance to the respective songs this time round, which is a pity. But it’s okay! It’s still an absolutely brilliant piece of work. Slow and steady can be good, and a nice change sometimes. This is an album that you can actually relaxed to.

Some songs which are already a personal favourite (with the exception of tracks 1 & 2, because those are already a given):

7. Northern Downpour
8. When The Day Met The Night
10. The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know
13. She Had The World

The lyrics. The lyrics are really really impressive. Funny and eccentric, with lots of melodrama - it is sure to make you laugh or cry at some point, if you really examine them. Really brilliant.

Some selected lyrics:

If I could build my house just like a Trojan horse, I’d put a statue of myself upon the shelf of course - From “The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know”

She said she won the world at the carnival. But she didn’t ever win me. Because she couldn’t ever catch me … I don’t love you. I’m just passing the time. You could love me if I knew how to lie. But who could love me? I’m out of my mind. - From “She Had the World”

When the sun found the moon, she was drinking tea in the garden … So he said, “Would it be alright if we just sat and talked for a little while. If in exchange for your time, I give you this smile?” - From “When the Day Met the Night”

I love it!

Final Verdict: An eclectic album, with a more than a touch of cleverness. Lyrics that are witty and have deep meanings, an eccentric yet delightful compilation. The wait was well worth it. A perfect album for those of you who are seeking something different, if you haven’t been sucked into the witty swirl of Panic at the Disco already. Two thumbs up!

The Sick Rose

O Rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.

:(

Okay time to explain my seemingly obscene profile picture on Facebook:

Lex and I went to the museum on Sunday because it was the last day of the Greek exhibit, and he’s been dragging the date to take me there.

I’ve been asking him to take me to the museum since December. Since the start of the exhibit, and everytime he comes up with a silly excuse.

And then, before we knew it, it was the last day. And I told him, “No excuses this time. If I don’t get to view this exhibit, you’ll be taking me to Greece itself, I DON’T CARE!”

So we went.

As soon as we stepped into the museum, not the exhibit area, but the entrance itself - we were greeted by this giant statue of David.

To which I gave out a yelp and held tight to Lex’s arm. I have this psychological fear of monstrously huge statues. Which is also why I’ll also be afraid if I’m face to face with Lady Liberty.

David is said to be the embodiment of the perfect male physique. So far so good

But for this particular giant David statue, it has been wrapped with a pink lace-like cloth which makes David androgynous and thus have female beauty too.

But why does it have to be so huge, I was seriously petrified!

It could only mean one thing though: Real men wear pink and can still look macho! LOL!

Moving on to the actual exhibits. My apologies, I didn’t take note of names and stuff. So I’ll just relate the myths and stories to the best of my abilities and from memory.

This is one of my favourite exhibit, simply because the story behind it is so sad:

Okay here we have a guardian (of some sort, I think) of the afterlife, and a pair of husband and wife. The guardian is to the extreme left, the wife in the middle and husband on the extreme right).

Apparently, the wife has died but the husband was given a chance to take her back to the mortal world. The guardian had only one instruction to him. He must not look back to see if his wife is following him back to the world of the living or his wife shall be lost to him forever. And what do you know? He looked back.

And so this relief shows the final goodbye scene after he has looked behind. She’s hanging on to his shoulder, and he has lifted her veil to take a good look at her face. It’s just really sad, sigh.

Another sad exhibit:

This is a funerary.. relief? And anyway the scene depicted here is a mother saying goodbye to her child, when/before she dies. This is significant because death during childbirths are common during the ancient greek period. The deceased is usually seated, and in this case she’s holding her child’s hand, as if trying to hang on to him.

This is the bust of Alexander the Great, if you’ve always wondered what he looked like.

This is CUPID, whose real name is EROS, god of Love and Passion - son of Aphrodite, goddess of love, lust and fertility

I remember getting so excited when I figured out that this statue is actually of Cupid after reading the description. Hahaha. And when I happily and “cleverly” told Lex my newly found information, I just got an “I already knew THAT look”.

Who knew “Cupid” is just an undercover name for Eros?

And here is Eros’ mother - The Goddess Aphrodite:

For a Goddess of Love and Beauty, Aphrodite does not seem to have big breasts, like you would expect her too. Same goes with all the male statues. Beautiful as their facial features are (oh we haven’t gotten to my favourite statue as yet!), they do not have huge bulges down there. But they are still beautiful in every sense of the word.

This shows that : Size does not matter, and it also doesn'’t have anything to do with beauty. At all.

This is Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and Military Victory.

Apollo the Lizard Slayer. He exterminates pests.

An athlete with a discus in his hand.

Okay! It’s time. I’ve been stalling time with all these random statues. Now it’s the time for my favourite statue. Of Ares, God of War. I think he has the best facial features out of all the statues I saw that day. There’s something delicately handsome about him. And he isn’t even the God of Lust and Beauty. I digress.

The story goes to say that Ares, impulsive and violent as he was, had an affair with Aphrodite. And Aphrodite’s husband was naturally angry (he had every right to be insecure because his wife WAS the goddess of Love and Beauty anyway) and set up a trap for Ares.

I didn’t take the full shot of his statue, but if I did you would have seen that his ankle was caught in a chain. He had apparently stepped in the trap.

A closer look. See how refined and perfectly sculpted his face is? OH my.

And no, I am certainly NOT having a crush on a Greek God.

However, it doesn’t hurt that he has got a very nice butt. *ahem*

*Sigh*

A closer look just for you girls

There’s a good reason why he is a God. It’s simply so that mere mortals like us can’t have him. Only Goddesses like Aphrodite can

And in case you had no idea, my Facebook profile picture was not taken with the actual statue, but with a banner. This banner:

And I also took a picture with Ares’ scandal Aphrodite.

Right at her loins.

So now I’m a Goddess too eh, daughter of Aphrodite.

Ares, here I come!

This past week, I’ve learnt how being happy with your job affects your attitude towards it.

For once in my entire (still unbloomed) working life, I finally feel like I fit in; like I’m part of something I’m supposed to be. I’m not there because of lack of choice, but because I truly want to.

Sometimes I can’t believe I’ve gotten such an awesome job with plenty of opportunities that will come my way, if I prove my ability.

Sometimes I’d think back and wonder why I did all those rubbish jobs when I could have gotten a job like this way back. And then I’d realise that without all that suffering, I wouldn’t know what is true happiness.

*****

Today was a day of surprises.

I saw someone from the past at lunch. Kevin. He’s not so much an old flame, but he did like me alot in the past. We didn’t talk, but when I finally realise that one of the guys from the next table is someone I knew and had a brief history with, I flashed a big smile and mouthed “HI!”

He smiled, and waved “hi” back.

What’s with all the people from the past coming forth??

There goes a piece of my history. I wonder if the people I’ve rejected in the past (even after vigilant ‘proposals’ and chasings) wonder what the hell were they thinking when they see me, or think about me now? Just like I’ve been doing since one or two figures from the past have made an apperance within the past month.

Still at lunch, I received a call from home saying that I’ve gotten a letter from the Police. Apparently, they’ve found something I’ve lost and reported. As my aunt and I cracked our brains trying to figure out what it was, we realized it could be my lost wallet which has been missing since July 06.

A sense of euphoria swept through me that finally, finally I can get all my special treasures (in the wallet back). All the documents have been replaced since, but I have tangible items to relate past memories to.

I’d have to collect the wallet this Friday, so I think it would be and emotional yet happy moment for me

***

I got this in my inbox today. It has to do with our very own runaway fugitive, Mas Selamat Kastari. It’s funny shit. Enjoy:

Beware! These could be the disguises he is in! LOL!

He can be an actor with a blockbuster movie

The Last Samurai

Naruto

A bodybuilder *oohh*

A makcik! Hahahaha!

And so, let’s have one last look at all other possible disguises:

LOL!

I have been on an emotional hiatus all week.

From everyone, even myself.

I stayed at my aunt’s place for three nights just to get away from it all. Away from questions, away from pressure, away from any comments at all.

I did attempt to blog, if only to make myself feel better. But I find myself staring at a blank screen, not knowing what to type. I couldn’t vent it out. Too angry, too sad, too overwhelmed. Too everything.

I found it frustrating. But, I am not going to go into what actually happen. It’s already settled (for most parts anyway) in my own head, and I shall not torment myself into re-living the experience.

But I did lose my temper. And my seemingly limitless patience was pushed to the limit and I exploded.

The worst thing about me is that while I do not get crazily pissed off that easily, I take ages and ages to cool down and be my happy self again.

So for most of this past week, I was in a somber mood and had no mood to meet anybody. I just holed up at my aunt’s place, relishing the company of innocent beings that are her children.

Something else that you should know about, ahem, recent developments is that somewhere between Sha’s Big Explosion and the current day and time - Sha has gone from being a personal assistant (albeit to her uncle - we did maintain a professional relationship at work) to landing her dream job of becoming a writer.

It all happened too quickly. But I guess if you know bits and pieces of clues you can glue the entire storyline together.

I love my current job. How it utilizes my creativity, vocabulary and writing skills.

I love the challenge.

I love working independently.

I love looking at pictures of pretty bouquets everyday.

I love the fact that finally, I am utilizing my degree instead of settling for jobs that were beneath my qualifications.

I love how at this point of time, I have encountered just about every kind of office politics that I hardly bother about anything anymore. I think I am immuned to it. It’s so scary to think that I am immuned to something scary. It’s just that I am so over it all, that nothing will bother me.

People are just people. No matter what position they hold. Or what they say and do. Nothing will matter if you do not allow nonsense to bother you.

I am fully primed to face any kind of situation at work. Lex told me that everything happens for a reason. The reason why I went through so much in past jobs is so that by the time I get a job that I truly love and can excel in, I will be ready for anything.

And I am.

… within the past couple of weeks:

1) Two cups of 3-in-1 coffee plus a can of coke doesn’t quite do what a gold can of Redbull can. So drink red bull when you’re groggy at work - you’ll perk up soon enough.

2) Buses, big trucks and lorries give way more to me than measley arrogant owners of stupid cars. I’ve learnt this the hard way, trying to get into the main road from my house porch every bloody morning. I love the bus, trucks and lorries uncles.

3) Times goes by a lot faster when the boss isn’t in the office

4) Old crushes and flames who pop out from nowhere end up disappointing you greatly and you wonder why you liked (or loved, you thought) them in the very first place. Why you thought they were the greatest thing ever; why you took one year of your teen years to get over one of them; how you wrote a heart-felt poem for the other, which is still one of the best pieces; why he ends up being engaged to some girl which if you ask me many years ago, doesn’t quite make the cut.

5) Why my colleagues and I always get too giggly after a Friday lunch at a cosy Italian restaurant

6) That I feel and look more beautiful when I’m with Lex. Now I truly understand the quote, “I don’t love you because you’re beautiful; you’re beautiful because I love you”. Not that I am not *ahem* beautiful essentially.

7) That people whom you’ve lost will always, always be in your mind. And that you’d be reminded of them at the most unexpected times and places.

8) That it doesn’t mean that just because you’re from a “holy and pious” country, you are not malicious cheats who lie and slander people.

9) That gifts that come from the heart and with the receiver’s best interests are better than expensive and over the top gifts that are bought just because they are requested for.

10) That I feel out of place being in a huge bank, even though I was there signing important documents for work.

11) That anger and ill-feelings will always end up in regret

12) That the Italian word for “danger” is “danno”. So now I can go, “Danno! Danno! Your pant’s are on fire!”

13) That Panic! at the Disco’s second album, pretty odd is going to be out on 25th March 2008. Can hardly wait!!

14) My reverse parking has improved tremendously, adding to that - I haven’t had any car mishaps for quite sometime now, yay!

15) Sushi twice in one week, makes you pretty sick of it even though it’s one of your favouritest food.

16) I shouldn’t type drafts for blog posts as they will end up not being fully typed eventually.

17) That sex within a certain religion, “BY RIGHT” is limited, and not at all what I thought sex and making out is all about. And I am glad that most of us do not adhere to it. Okay, sensitive topic over - moving on.

18) The fact that my boyfriend annoyingly “bullies” and makeS fun of me, is only because he adores me.

19) How it is so so important to have at least one great colleague who will be on your side and cheer you up when things go tough at work. In other words, a bitch out partner over MSN

20) That selected Old Chang Kee outlets sell breakfast items such as Fried Bee Hoon and Nasi Lemak.

Sorry. This was supposed to be up late last week, but I got caught up with stuff.

Actually I have two more posts which are half-typed which should have been posted by now.

Laziness and procrastination. Very bad combination. Tsk. Tsk.

Anyway, Valentine’s Day came and went.

This year, there were some differences during the Valentine’s day season. For once in 3 years, I didn’t take any orders for ribbon roses, nor did I advertise it anywhere. I just wanted a break this year. Plus having a full time job doesn’t make you want to have a second full time job when you get home from work.

Also, this year I simply did not have the mood for the special day. No idea why. I wasn’t feeling excited, nor anticipating what Lex might be getting me. Or whether I’d receive flowers.

None of that. I think I must be getting old. I don’t feel excited for anything much anymore

Nonetheless. This year, my boyfriend decided he’d actually plan for Valentine’s Day. For once in our 4 years relationship. So since he has already put in the effort, I’d figure I’d just go along with it.

We actually went to a nice restaurant with satisfactory food. And I don’t know if he actually reserved a table for us (though it didn’t seem like it despite the fact that he insisted that he did), we actually got a nice table, in an intimately set segment of the restaurant.

Oh by the way, we went to The Manhattan Fish Market.

The restaurant was divided into two parts. One normal looking part. And the other specially set for Valentine’s Day. And we actually got a seat in the latter, which made me want to believe he actually booked a table and specifically asked for us to be seated in the dimly lit part

The restaurant was pretty clever in the way that they closed all their ala carte menu and capitalized on the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. Couples only had the V-day special set which consists of a main dish (you can choose out of 4 I think), soup, desert and a specially concocted beverage.

Ooh. Love potion.

This was our appetiser. Some potato soup which was really, really good. I loved it.

So we chose the Valentine’s Day platter (which was essentially a seafood platter) as our main dish. Yummy.

Apart from the oysters (a natural aphrodisiac, my friends) and the fish fillets, there were also prawns; calamari, vegetables (hidden under the fish fillets) and oh-my-god-so-yummy yellow rice.

I don’t know what rice it was, but it was so good. My God.

It was a fantastically filling meal. So much so that when we were practially filled to the brim (I had to loosen the belt of my lovely dress and suck my tummy in), we totally forgot about the deserts. Which we couldn’t devour even if we wanted to. So we had the cakes packed. LOL.

And another thing that I adore was the drink stirrer. Hearts! I TOOK them home. You can’t say I stole them. Coz we paid for the full set of meal. So yes, I took them.

Hee hee hee. Cute right? No idea what to do with them. I’m always collecting rubbish like these lol.

After dinner, we went to watch Jumper. My boyfriend is so proud of himself for having the foresight to get tickets way beforehand. You’ve got to give him credit for planning this year,

Jumper was excellent (Though I was seriously thinking he got ticket to P.S. I Love You). It’s one of those movies which makes you want to be a character in the movie.

*jump* and there I am in Disneyland

*jump* at a Panic! At the Disco concert

*jump* in Lex’s house

Ho hO.

As for gifts, I actually got Lex a nice belt with a playing cards belt buckle. Lovely. I bought it for him while we were shopping the weekend before V-day. So no pictures of that But it was nice , hehe.

On top of that, I gave him this card.. (my personal notes to him are strictly private and confidential *ahem*)

As for Lex, he got me yet another watch. I am so loving it. It’s so lovely:

*swoons*

Sorry the picture is quite blurry. Shaky hands, tsk.

All in all, this year’s Vday wasn’t too shabby. It was really nice to have him do all the planning, thinking and worrying for once. It was nice to have an intimate dinner where we beam at each other, just being happy we are together on a special day.

It doesn’t matter that there were no flowers or soft toys.

But then again, last year I already had a HUGE bouquet and HUGE soft toy, so that in itself makes up for it.

:)

I hope you had a great Valentine’s Day yourself!

I’ve always believed that every human being has a right to love. It’s not a previlege, it’s an unwritten right.

Who you love and why you love should not be an issue, in an ideal world.

Opposites attract they say. We are all human at the very core, and differences such as race; colour; social class and even gender (!) should all be put aside. If it feels right, then go for it.

When I say gender should be put aside, it doesn’t mean that everyone should just go gay. I’m just saying that if your true loves happens to be of the same gender as you, you should just embrace that fact. But that’s besides the point.

It wasn’t until yesterday that I started to question my belief about everyone having the right to love.

To some extent, I felt really ashamed of myself for even feeling disgusted and discriminating towards this particular couple.

I only noticed the girl as I sat with Lex at the very last row in the bus. I didn’t notice anything unusual about her except for the fact that she seems to be overweight, and sweating even though the bus was airconditioned. And that on her haversack, she has at least 20 thingamajics hanging from the zippers.

I succumbed to my sleepiness and exhaustion and slept at the crook of Lex’s shoulder.

When I woke up from my nap, the first thing I saw was the same haversack with the many thingamajics. But the person carrying it was a man of a smaller frame than the girl earlier. As my mind cleared up from the grogginess of sleep, I realised the girl has already sat down in the seat in front of ours. And the guy was standing beside her.

Funny how I didn’t notice the guy earlier.

Anyway to cut the story short, I noticed how the girl was talking funny and also how attentive the guy is to the girl. Stroking her hair, talking to her nicely - just like any ordinary couple.

But soon I realised (thanks to Lex) that they are both slightly mentally challenged - I am not going to type out the R-word. Which was why the girl was talking really weirdly. Lex told me they both got on the bus outside some school or association for the mentally challenged.

But that’s not the disturbing part.

The disturbing part was that how intimate they were with each other.

The guy groped her breasts, and played with her cleavage. Of course with her shirt still on.

Lex told me (because he’s taller) and can see better what’s going on in front that the guy circled one of the girl’s finger with his own fingers and did a very vulgar gesture which I don’t think I want to explain it right here. On my blog.

And she kept wanting to kiss him. And we, were held captive audience. And when she tried to kiss him, she lets out her tongue first.

And they did kiss.

And then she put her head on his lap and took a nap while he circled her back with his fingers.

All of which, yeap, made it REALLY cringeworthy.

I cringed and tightened my grip on Lex’s hand - something I do when I’m nervous, scared or simply disgusted. And he put his hand over my eyes to save me from the agony.

I know how I’m sounding right now. I sound like some patronizing and snobbish idiot who discrimates people of lesser capabilites the her. But I’m asking you very kindly to imagine the scene. I’m not going to tell you how most mentally challenged people look like, that you already know. So just put yourself in our shoes and tell me if you won’t cringe.

But after sometime observing them, I started feeling ashamed of myself. How many times have Lex and I sneaked kisses while on buses and escalators? How many times have I dozed off on him on the bus? Why is it when we see normal people showing some display of affection, it is termed “sweet”. And when people such as the couple above do the same thing, with probably the same harmless intentions we cringe at the sight of it.

Why?

How is their need to show their love for each other different from ours? Why must we, as a society and human beings be so.. discriminating towards people different from us?

Love is still Love, isn’t it? What right do we have to be patronizing? Some of us “normal” beings are even ashamed or afraid to let our loved ones know how much we love them.

And then, another scary thought came to mind.

Do they even know what they are doing? Are they of even a matured state of mind to know consequences? No doubt that they are no strangers to intimacy. But do they know??

Whatever it is, Lex and I were deeply traumatized on that bus ride. There’s no right or wrong in love, but looking at the two of them - you just feel wrong about it.

I’m someone who hardly generalizes, so this must be something big for me to comment on it. I just believe that to be in love, one must have the maturity to think things out and understand the concept of actions vs consequences.

What are your thoughts on this?

Gong xi fa cai, everyone!

And sorry for disappearing for two weeks.

Anyway moving on! This year, I’ve decided to do something nice for Lex’s mum just for the Chinese New Year season. Even though Lex and I have been together for almost five years, this was the first time I’ve done something like this for his mum.

Of course, being the anal fool that I am, I spent a week scouring over gift catalogues and websites to find the perfect gift.

I found myself stuck between a gift hamper, a basket of oranges or a flower arrangement. And then I was bogged down with questions - which hamper? The one with tonics or the one with food items? Which flower arrangement? Fresh or artificial flowers?

Until I made a decision. To get a basket of oranges with really sweet flowers bordering the basket handle. Called up the company to make an order. And was disappointingly told that that particular item is sold out and the only item left in the oranges catergory was this ugly tray with oranges on it.

NO WAY.

So I decided that the best way (and more cost effective way), is to make a gift basket MYSELF.

I found a nice basket, bought oranges and two tins of cookies from Bengawan Solo and TA-DAA!!

I honestly think my gift is better than all the gifts in the catalogues and websites. Because every detail and item is thought of with the best interests at heart.

If I were to get a hamper, the items inside would probably be mostly nonsensical food items which would only be cast aside. And it costs oh-so-much.

I sent the basket to Lex’s house yesterday morning. Carried the heavy (okay that’s just me) basket all the way up.

I was nervous with thoughts of.. Would she like it? Should I have bought more cookies? Is the flower tacky?

But I needn’t have worried.. because she loves it!

Yay!

It just feels so good to finally do something nice for his family. I can’t describe it.

Hopefully the barely existing relationship I have with his parents will blossom into something existing after this..

Enjoy your holidays everyone, and keep those ANG PAOS coming!

And I took the morning off today specifically to spend some time with her.

I mean, it’s the only way I can actually spend actual time with her without feeling awkward around her mum. So I went to her place early in the morning, when she’s still in her PJs and has Disney Channel blaring in the living room.

And I brought her a very nice present (if I should say so myself lol).

She knew I was coming, because I told her yesterday morning (even before my “leave” was approved) and has been so excited since then.

This morning alone, she must have called me at least 3 times before I left the house.

Once when I was having my breakfast, once after I just stepped out from the shower and finally when I just started the ignition to my car.

LoL.

Anyway this was what I got her, much to her delight.

hello sweet baby

Isn’t it adorable? It just makes you wanna go Aww!!

It was the tiniest hamster I could find in the pet shop, and it’s barely 3 weeks old. Such a cute baby. But alas, we (Ika and I) were told it was a boy after we’ve picked out a lovely pink cage with pink wheels.

his lovely abode

Hahahaha.

But the girl at the pet shop also told us that the baby hamster is still far too young to have it’s gender determined (although it does look like it’s a boy).

It’s okay anyway. A true man embraces pink with pride. *cough*

Hamster aside, it was really really nice to see my little girl. Well she’s not so little now, kids seem to grow so much more when they are out of sight, no? She’s a big girl now

She must have felt the same nostalgic feeling as I did when we were just hanging around the house. She sat on my lap as I helped her with some stuff on her handed-down-from-her-sister laptop.

Or how she insisted I shower her when her maid offered to.

I was more than happy to. I mean I do miss our little before school routine in the past.

Or how she wanted me to brush her hair and tie it up in a ponytail.

Or just how happy she looked the entire morning. It’s really been too long since we actually spent time together. Since she was re-located to her own house, we only talk on the phone several times a week. Which is a far cry from the level of closeness that we shared when she was staying in my house.

And she was so super excited to be riding in my car. I took the initiative of bringing her to my house first, and let her meet up with grandma and my mum before driving her to school (because she brought two big bags of goodies to be given to her classmates).

She even went as far as to say that she wants me to send and fetch her to and from school every day.

I’d love to, sweetheart. But I can’t. Things are not so simple anymore.

My grandma and my mum were needless to say, very delighted to see her. But we only stayed a short while before we left, since she did have to be on time for school anyway.

As she hopped into the backseat of my car, and as my mum closed the door for her and bade her goodbye, I heard my mum’s voice quiver. It sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

As I sat in my driver’s seat, facing front, I was going, “Shit, please don’t start - It’s hard enough for me already”.

And as I pushed the gear stick to first, I pushed all emotions away and we started on our way to her school.

I dropped her off at her school porch, passed the two big bags of goodies to a teacher.

I kissed my girl on her forehead and said to her, “Bye sayang” and drove off (because there was a hold up behind me), and made my way to the office.

Today’s time with her, is making me miss her even more. It’s true what they say. Sometimes it’s better to be out of sight, because when we see each other (after a long break), old sentiments are raked up.

:(

I know.

I know I have been neglecting my site yet again. But please believe me when I say that for every day in the past working week, I wanted to blog.

In fact, I already had the title and contents all up in my head (that’s how most of my posts are formed - in my head first). It was supposed to be, and I supposed it will be titled.. Top 10 Men of Fiction I’d Love to ****

Please don’t snatch that idea for me. I promise to post it up very soon.

I’ve copyrighted that title and concept from here on. Haha.

I’ve been really, really busy at work. So much so that I do not have a moment to spare from the moment I step into the office until it’s time to go home.

And it’s EXHAUSTING. I’d come home, have dinner, shower, SLEEP!

Wake up, get ready, drive to work (I’m okay on the roads now!) go into my office, fall deeper into the quicksand of work.

REPEAT.

:(

I thought today would be better. I was hoping this week would be better. But once again, I was completely swamped with work. From start to end.

It’s tiring *WHINE WHINE*

(I’m a girl, which makes it alright for me to whine when I’m so freaking exhausted)

Normally, I would still have stuff to do. But it would not be so overwhelmingly overwhelming. I would clear my work quickly and effeciently. And I would have time to relax in between tasks.

But since last Monday, things have gone topsy turvy. I hate it. And to top it off, my work keeps piling on. That, I REALLY hate. It makes my work messy. My desk doesn’t even look like a desk anymore.

SIGH.

okay /.rant over.

I’ve got a decision to make. No, not about work.

I feel like taking yup another course (oh colour me crazy). The thing is, should I take up another bachelor’s degree in some other field (like psychology!) or pursue my Masters in Mass Communication?

Should I stay a bachelorette or become a mistress?

Geez, that sounds like a tag line for some sleazy movie. lol.

And if I do take up either course, should it be full or part time?

Opinions needed, please and thank you. From the small handful of you who are still reading my blog.

I promise the next post would be fun

Everytime something like this happens, I swear I’d think that I am a character in some outrageous chick-lit novel with absolutely no control over how the plot is turning out.

But I guess I should have foreseen it. I get lost, even in games like WoW.

This morning I went all around Singapore in two hours. All because I took the wrong lane at a junction. I would have been fine if i were extremely familiar with the roads here. But I wasn’t. So I kept going straight, looking out for road signs. And the more foreign the road signs became, the more I urged myself to stay calm and keep going until I see something familar.

I somehow (by some miracle of God) ended up at Alexandra Road, near Ikea. And when I saw the arrow going to Farrer Park, I knew this was my chance to make my way to my neighbourhood and start over my journey to the office.

the wheel I’m behind

Yes I was on my way to work and got so hopelessly and seriously LOST. And it was the first time I’m driving to work all by my lonesome self. So for once, I had only myself to rely on. Couldn’t possibly abandon my car and hail a cab. Couldn’t even drive and make a phone call (to all my uncles and aunt who are always reachable for whatever I need) at the same time. Couldn’t make a gesture to the driver in the cars beside me and asking for directions.

I only had myself to rely on, seriously. And I was really impressed how I managed to conquer the major and completely foreign roads and areas. And how calm I was during most of my harrowing experience.

Calm until at the end of the 2 hours, my legs were tired (a manual car is no JOKE I tell you!) and I was so close to being car sick - I NEVER get car-sick; I actually mounted a curb.

And that was when I broke down and shed some self-piteous tears. And somehow made it to my office building, managed to park my car and headed up to work - almost an hour late.

Anyway I was not done telling my story.

So I made it back to my neighbourhood (once again, somehow). Edwin says that since I managed to find my way eventually, it doesn’t count as a LOST case, but still. And so I restarted my journey. And took another wrong turn (I know I sound like a clueless little bimbo at this moment) but this time I ended up near my old school, whereby I knew there was a way to my office. Just that I don’t know where.

I put Khimmy’s dad on speaker phone. Asked him where to turn. And he told me. And because I wasn’t familiar with the area, I didn’t filter to the right on time. So I had to go one big round and through a short cut I discovered by chance (oh wow!) and finally made it to the passageway that he was talking about.

What makes this whole situation extra funny (it is hilarious now when I think about it, but TRUST me - it wasn’t funny at all this morning) is that last night, I did ask Khimmy’s dad to guide me on the route to my office. And I knew exactly where to go. And I thought I was all set.

And look what happened the very next morning.

LOL.

But I’m taking it with a pinch of salt. Experience will only make me learn lessons that I otherwise won’t learn. And it’s true that what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. I take it all in as part of the learning process. The more I explore, the more I get lost the better my sense of direction will be in the future.

And you know the best part of today? (besides driving to and from work by myself? - oh yes driving home was no problem at all. In fact I started driving home byself yesterday) I managed to reverse in to my front porch, which is facing a busy main road! This has always been a big hiccup. And it’s a huge thing that I pulled it off. In fact, it’s a huge thing I pulled this entire day off.

*pats self on back*

But right now, I really need a street directory.

my happy joystick

I am trying so hard to keep myself awake this Tuesday morning at work.

I struggled through the drive to work, reaching the office at a all-time new record of 7.40 am

I hate driving while not fully awake. It’s dangerous, I kind of like my mind alert and ready.

For the past few days, since the start of the year, I have been in hiding - from everyone and everything including myself. There wasn’t a valid reason why I went on a slight hibernation, perhaps I’m repositioning myself for the new year, I don’t know.

I didn’t feel the usual strong urge to blog, or even come online.

I lost the excitement that I associate with World of Warcraft.

I wanted to be alone.

I even thought of forfeiting my usual mad rush for doing bouquets of ribbon roses for Valentine’s Day this year.

And that is a scary, scary thought because I’ve never thought of skipping that seasonal period.

I slept as early as 9 pm or 10 latest.

It’s only now, that the feeling of wanting to do something is surfacing again.

I have so many interesting posts in my head that has already been conjured up. Perhaps in the next few days, I will get down to them.

I realise that my frequent disappearence from my blog may cause me to lose readers. But would you rather read posts that is so obviously typed out just for the sake of updating my blog, or posts that are well thought out?

I shall leave that to you.

So let me cheer myself (and get out of this black hole entirely) up and introduce you to my current favourite dumb video of the moment.

Trust me, it’s hilarious.

*headbangs sideways*

:P

I think that kid at the back is super cute, in a stupid kind of way haha.

Sigh.

It’s already 2008. At the strike of midnight, as we bid 2007 goodbye and hello to 2008, I didn’t feel anything. To me it was just another day. It made no difference to me.

I didn’t even feel the usual enormous surge of excitement to do a “post-mortem” of my year, contrary to the bumper one I did last year.

Maybe I’ve gotten older. I don’t feel excited, lol.

Maybe I’m just afraid at how this new year might turn out. So scared that it’s going to be yet another bad, mostly depressing year. I really don’t want that. I don’t. I just want to be happy. My wish is as simple as that.

So let 2007 go by. For once in my 7 years of blogging, I will not reflect on how that year has gone by. I will move on from all the pain, tears and sadness. I will move on to brighter days and greener pastures.

Greener pastures whereby I’m “somewhere up in the clouds”, where my career is concerned, so much so I have enemies who are just waiting for me to do a screw up. Jealous folks who curse upon the good fortune (and good blessings) of others.

Trust me, in some ways that is even worse than rejoicing in the misery of others.

Greener pastures whereby I drive to work because 1) I need (so) much practice, and 2) I can’t give certain idiots the chance to blab about how SOMEONE has a car and how the parking space has already been paid for and yet SOMEONE still doesn’t drive to work.

I can’t give that opportunity to them. I’m at the brink of snapping, so yeap, better for me to keep their mouth shut. And yes I so need the practice.

So I drove to work today - oh the first work day of the brand new year. With a guide next to me of course. And guess what.

Guess!

Just as I was about to reach my office building, (I was right outside of it), I.. (how shall I put it), hit the curb somehow. HARD. And tore my left front tyre.

Luckily, my guide, a family friend was there and an experience driver. I didn’t even know I had a spare tyre in my boot. And that I also had tools all ready.

And how much work changing a tyre is. And how I can’t imagine myself doing that all by myself. Oh not dainty Sha!

Okay bimbo moment over.

I really don’t know how I hit that curb so hard. I almost never hit curbs even when I was learning how to drive. But just now, I was struggling to put my cashcard in the cashcard holder.
And then all I remembered was screaming just a bit.

My god, if a slight hit (okay maybe a tiny bit harder than normal) felt that strong that I let out a scream, what would it be like in a real car crash?

*tries not to think about it*

Therefore, I’ve updated my list of how I might die.

As from last year, the only thing on my list was:

Die from passive smoking.

Now, I can add another:

Die in a road accident.

I have a feeling Lex won’t be too happy about the fact that his dainty, clumsy Sha is in adverse danger everyday.

Oh dear God.

So now, my car has mismatched tyres. Gotta find time to bring it to the workshop to get it all nice and standardized again.

So hopefully. I’ll be a good driver in a month’s time. For the time being, our family friend will accompany me to and from work. Until I get the good hang of things.

Wishing one and all a very delightful new year ahead *hugs*

This is a completely untimely post that has been delayed for at least half a week. Forgive me, because it was only yesterday that I managed to get myself a memory cardreader after failed attempts to find my camera usb cable.

As you know, last Thusday was Hari Raya Haji, or Hari Raya Aidil Adha as it is officially known.

And this year my family actually korbaned (sacrificed) a goat for the occassion. I tagged along for the event, since the last time I was brought to a korban ceremony was when I was a little girl. And I recalled, it was after that incident that I backed off from eating mutton for most parts. And I strongly remembered it was because it was dirty and smelly. Yes I was anal even as a young child.

So. Back to my post. Please be warned that some of these pictures are not for the faint hearted, and definitely not for animal activists. I’m serious. Please do not flame me, because it was really hard for me as I took the pictures, upclose. I had tears in my eyes, if you want to know.